I’m a clicker. I click things off as soon as my eyes have witnessed its existence. Texts, Facebook messages, emails, everything gets clicked whether I can tell from my phone’s preview it is a simple ‘K’ or a spam message that somehow snuck into my primary account. There are certain exceptions-Social and Promotions in Gmail get a pass, because that’s mostly junk mail and coupons. I also have a secret email account for more junk mail and coupons that I’ve started to let slide, but that’s about it.
It’s usually not a problem, and I don’t let it effect my personal life. Although it irks me to see friends’ phones with millions of notifications going unanswered, I choose to not let it disturb our friendship and carry on bravely. No one has even known my notification OCD until today, when Spotify has exposed me for the freak that I am, and has decided to single-handedly crush my soul with this:
It’s a notification from Spotify, alerting me that it wants to tell me something. But when I go in to see what it could be, I get this:
This sickening, spinning wheel of uncertainty. It’s been churning for minutes, spinning and spinning with no solution. And until I pass through this portal of agony, I am left in purgatory to wait to check off that yes, I have in fact viewed my notification, elating with joy in the triumph of being able to click it off.
Until then I wait. If I ever do go to hell, this will be it. Unless- I am already there.