How I failed at life in 2013


When I look at my list of goals for 2013 I want to crawl in a hole and die. According to this list I did nothing! I’m still not a famous writer and I still don’t have rock hard abs. This sucks so much.


Because everyone loves a train wreck, le’ts review 2013 with this over the top list of goals, shall we?

2013 Goals:

* Get in to Grad School:

Ok. I did do this one. After months of cursing out the GMAT. You can actually read about my first class A here. So far so good!

* Complete 4 classes for my Master’s (MS in Market Analytics):

I did one class. I am signed up for 2 starting January 9th. Hopefully I can survive 2 at a time to move things along. FAIL.

* Do a unique/fun presentation:

Kinda? I did a yearly presentation that was required, but I did put a few twists in it. I will consider this one half done.

* Write 28 blog posts in 2013:

I wrote 17 this year including this post. That comes out to only 1.4 a month. FAIL. 

* Grow readership for

Hi mom? Why have you stopped reading? Was it something I said? FAIL.

* Give less awkward hugs:

Well there’s no one to hug because no one is reading this blog.

* Read at 3 different reading series:

I read at one. That counts as 1/3 of a point. FAIL.

* Write book:

I am up to chapter 4. Do they make 4 chapter books? FAIL.

* Write the first five chapters by May:

HAHAHAHAHAHA. *grabs beer out of fridge to cry into*

* Get book published:


* Do 25 crunches every day this year. (Going to use this to start the day and as a reminder for this list of goals.):

Okay this list is getting stupid now.

*  Run Illinois half marathon in April. (Joined the gym!):

Quit gym. Quit walking. Currently eating Christmas cookies.

* Run fun races (Color Run, Zombie Run, Cinco de Miler, Turkey, Santa, etc.):

I did it! I ran the Ditka Dash in December! Woo! *steps off ledge*

* Learn to swim 1 mile

*drowns self*

* Get to goal weight

*floats to top because did not reach goal weight*

* Better eye contact o_O


* Only go to Starbucks twice a month


* Only buy lunch at work twice a month


* Save $$$


2014 Goals will be written tomorrow. I think I will keep my expectations a bit lower by starting with things like “breathing” and “watching TV.” 
Happy New Year! See you in 2014!
13                                                                                                             Out.

Posted on December 30, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This cracked me up. I always read your posts!

  2. I’m debating adding “drink more” to my list of 2014 goals.

  3. You grew your readership by adding me. It is amazing what a reunion at a wedding can do.

  1. Pingback: New Years Resolutions 2014 style | Connie O. Reyes Future famous writer?

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