How I wanted Breaking Bad to end
I’ve been reading Breaking Bad wrap ups and reviews all day and realized I could do a much better job (if I read one more review that says “at least it wasn’t the Sopranos! eh? eh?” I’m going to buy some ricin on Amazon and end it). I think its safe to say everyone was pleased with the events that happened, but I wanted more. And even though it would probably have needed an extra 3 hours than the measly 15 bonus minutes we saw last night, this is what I wanted to see happen for each character.
Huel: Someone calls and tells him he can come out of hiding now.
Skylar: She goes Kill Bill on Lydia. Fight scene to the death. Also she hands off Holly to Marie because let’s face it, she doesn’t really like Holly, she basically just carries her around while she smokes until someone else wants her then she’s all, DON’T YOU TAKE MY BABY!
Marie: She shoplifts herself a nice purple scarf to take the edge off of Hank being dead. Also she takes Holly when Skylar isn’t paying attention and makes her wear purple instead of pink all the time.
Todd: Exactly as it happened, but right after it, Jesse says something like, “Yeah! Matt Damon’s dead BITCH!”
Lydia: Ewww! Why are you even in this? No one likes your constipated face! (refer back to Skylar for more).
Walt Jr: Louis’s family adopts him, take him to Denny’s for waffles, and he wins a lifetime supply of free breakfast.
Holly: She doesn’t end up a meth head or stripper. Although that’s the most likely thing that would happen.
Walt: He has one last tighty whitey scene where he frolicks in the snow pants-less, where he stumbles on an idea to cure cancer, starts a company called White Matters More (suck it Grey Matters), and makes millions. I don’t know how the whole situation with being wanted by every police person ever gets resolved, but it magically does and then he WRITES JESSE A REALLY NICE APOLOGY LETTER SAYING THAT HE’S SORRY FOR RUINING HIS LIFE.
Jesse: JESSE FINDS OUT THAT JANE DIDN’T DIE BUT IT WAS HER EVIL TWIN SISTER THAT DIED THAT DAY, SO THEY REUNITE AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE A HOUSE WITH LOTS OF KIDS AND THEY ALL LEARN ABOUT SCIENCE AND WOOD WORKING AND EAT NICE MEALS TOGETHER. THEN THEY GO TO DISNEY WORLD AND EAT CANDY.
Have an A1 day!