I just made up a new word. But first, I will show you its antonym:
1: to find fault incessantly
2: to irritate by constant scolding or urging
Example: Connie keeps nagging that I don’t refill the toilet paper roll.
1: to be the cause of fault incessantly
2: to irritate by constant lack of action, whether as a result of defiance or desire to cause chaos
Example: Andrew keeps ganning the toilet paper, causing Connie to go insane.
Since married, Andrew has called me a nag approximately nine hundred and seventy million times. I hate it. It’s a word that duplicates my rage and makes me go blind with anger. Last time he called me a nag we both ended up in a boat smashed into an iceberg. I had no idea how we got there yet I’m sure it had something to do with the fact that he wasn’t waving to the polar bears properly.
Or more likely, we were sitting in the apartment and he put his sopping wet towel on my clean one and I went to bed angry.
The word nagging kills me because it makes me think of an old ugly hag screaming to her husband about boring things like dirty towels and toilet paper rolls. And that is something that I do not want to become. But despite my best efforts, I slowly started to sink into the roll of hag after Andrew continuously chose to ignore my sweet requests. It wasn’t until I was shrieking like a three-year old at the mall over a water bottle when it hit me:
I don’t just nag, YOU don’t do things that CAUSE me to nag!
Ok, so maybe I wasn’t the first woman to come across this epiphany, yet I was on to something. Clearly I don’t enjoy whining and getting upset over trivial things, yet I find myself constantly complaining about the same thing again and again all because Andrew just as much repeatedly chooses not to do things that would make all of our lives much easier. Both of our actions are selfless crimes, yet in the end I’m the one ending up looking like the evil villan. Why? Because my action has a word for it while his goes nameless and therefore indescribably innocent.
Mislabeled naggers of the world, I beg you to use the word “gan” in your next domestic dispute. By labeling the problem and calling them out for what they are, we can fight back and call them out for what they are- trouble makers who choose to carry on a super boring fight instead of fixing the problem and ending the feud for good!
Here’s some more examples for you to use in your next battle:
You didn’t put the food away? You’re such a ganner.
You’re such a ganner, just like your father!!
If you gan one more time and don’t take out the trash. I’m taking out the savings fund and running away to Cancun.
Quit ganning me! If I had known I was marrying such a gan I would have stayed single forever!
Hopefully they’ll realize just how annoying it is being called a nag and stop this nonsense forever. Although I can’t guarantee it will stop them from leaving the toilet seat up.