Voting should require an IQ test

It’s voting day in Illinois! If you haven’t already done so, make sure you go out and vote! I’m not going to sit here and tell you why it’s important, but I’ll explain why it will be easier for you than for me…

I think it was last year, I can’t remember what election it was for, but I was running late to cast my vote. I made it just in time before the polls closed and I was in a rush to get in and out. I signed in, grabbed my ballot, and headed to the booth where I quickly performed my patriotic duty. After I left I rushed over to a big metallic box with a slot in it and put my ballot in.

As I was about to leave, a poll watcher asked me where my ballot was. “In the box” I replied, thinking I was smart and didn’t need any help sending off my vote. After a couple of confused looks and walking around, I finally realized I PUT MY FREAKIN’ BALLOT IN A LOCKED STORAGE CABINET.

Was this my first time voting? No. Did I know that the ballot goes in that electronic-y thing where it scans it through? Yes. But in my mind I apparently was in the early 1900s where you place your bean in a jar and someone comes and counts up all the beans. Ugh.

It took two poll watchers and a janitor to PRY my ballot out of the slit that I mistakenly slipped my vote in. After that I was so mortified I swore that I would never vote again, unless it involved texting or clicking something online.  But it’s been a year, and I’m almost completely over the embarrassment and humiliation I endured well enough to suck it up and go back in there.

So you see, if I can get over that horrible experience, you can DEFINITELY go vote today!

One thought on “Voting should require an IQ test

  1. tracey February 5, 2010 / 4:07 pm

    That’s hilarious.

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