Flat Sister

Flat Stanley: a children’s book about a boy named Stanley Lambchop who is flattened by a bulletin board and thus able to get into/out of sticky situations due to his…what’s a good word for flatness?

Since then it became a thing in grammar school for students to send a cutout of Flat Stanley to different cities to get pictures sent back of all the places he traveled. This was on King of the Hill once and Peggy decided to use it as a lesson to stay away from danger, where she basically killed Flat Stanley.

I never had the opportunity to send out my own Flat Stanley until Thanksgiving. Sorry this post is so out-dated, because as you can see it is now December and already snowing! On my blog! How awesome am I!

Where was I? Oh yeah. So holidays at my home consist of mass amounts of cleaning until the second before people arrive. I won’t get into it because it’s a post on its own, but lets just say its brutal.  This year, my sister was conveniently scheduled to work so we had to eat late (and by late I mean 6 instead of 3, which is normal turkey time). I was upset because that meant I had to do twice the work. That is, until I came upon a picture of her.

It’s a picture of her in grammar school holding a volley ball with a closed mouth smile because she had braces. The picture to me looked ridiculous (perhaps due in part to a bit of black wednesday hangover?) and I knew there must be some way to use it to my advantage to make up for her absence. Hence, Flat Sister.  Below is a story of Flat Sister and how she travels around the house cleaning, making friends, and getting ready for Thanksgiving. Enjoy.

Hi! My name's Flat Sister! Will you be my friend??


Oh I'm such a loser, no one will be my friend. I know! I'll clean the house! Then everyone will love me!
Ahhh! Someone help me!!! All I wanted to do was cleaaannnn!
Ahhhh! There's so much crap in this house it's falling on me! Ahhh!
Nooo!!! An avalanche of laundry!!!
Phew! Dishes are done! My hands are so dry, I should've used Dawn.
Time to measure the turkey pan to make sure it fits.
mmm, nothing says Thanksgiving like french onion dip! nom nom nom
Woohoo Thanksgiving! Let's get wasted!
ugh, I think I'm gonna hurl...
Ahh! What a lovely Thanksgiving after all! Wait, where is everyone?

The end. (By the way, can you imagine how thrilled my mom was that I was the one that could stay home and clean?)

7 thoughts on “Flat Sister

  1. Princess Aurora December 8, 2009 / 9:02 pm

    Your poor sister. Your poor mother. You crack me up 🙂

  2. Emily December 9, 2009 / 12:37 am

    HA! I think I’ll do this to my sister while she conveniently has to “work” before xmas. Brilliant!

  3. patty December 9, 2009 / 1:07 pm

    You are too funny!! 🙂

  4. flat sister December 9, 2009 / 11:28 pm

    Yeah thanks! One word karma!

  5. Tracey December 11, 2009 / 12:43 pm

    I’m laughing out loud in my cube and people are starting to look at me. I suppose I should get back to work now!

  6. Jackie December 11, 2009 / 3:05 pm

    omg connie. can anyone be any funnier? i think not. i CRIED i was laughing so hard! my sister always makes fun of those pictures of me!!

  7. Alicia December 13, 2009 / 7:05 pm

    poor caitlyn. mean big sisters.

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